Trading Spaces With Anita Blake

Host: And now we're here to see what the results are of the swap between Ronnie & Anita!

Anita: Here you can see what I've done with Ronnie's living room. (Gestures to an interior that's mostly covered with black & penguins.) I switched out the ugh... pastel sofa for a nice leather couch. I've even waterproofed it so it's easier to clean.

Ronnie: (Ronnie looks vaguely nauseous) Please tell me that you're talking about cleaning food & wine off the sofa.

Anita: (blithely ignoring Ronnie) Well... Nate & I had to "feed the beast", but we cleaned it off! That waterproofing really works!

Ronnie: You've got to be freaking kidding me. (looks at host)

Host: (in chipper tone of voice) No, she's telling the truth. We've got video! (gets a glare from Anita & an interested look from Nate) But uh... it got destroyed. (hushed voice) Note to self: leak the videos through demonoid.

(Group goes over to Anita's place)

Host: So Ronnie, tell me what you did for Anita!

Ronnie: Knowing Anita's current hobbies, I took extra special steps to make her living room fit her current lifestyle. (gestures to the sofa) See this sofa?

Anita: It's not water proof...

Ronnie: It turns into a bed!

Host: How very in- (gets cut off by Ronnie)

Ronnie: See this armchair? It also turns into a bed! (Anita starts scowling even more than usual) The real trouble came from the more customized items. Check out the media center- top of the line electronics, game systems, & a bluray player. (Nate brightens) But push this button here...

(Ronnie pushes a button on the wall as motors start whirring)

Ronnie: It turns into a *vibrating* bed! You should see what I did with the counters...

Host: Let's stop you right here. Does *everything* you changed here turn into a bed? (Ronnie nods.) Exactly how many beds did you manage to fit in here?

Ronnie: About eight. Anita's a busy girl, don't you know.

Anita: Are you calling me a skank?

Ronnie: Hey, when your partners get up into the triple digits on a single *day* I think that it starts becoming a little excessive.

(Anita starts drawing out one of her pistols as the host starts hurriedly going through the closing spiel)

Host: And that's all the time we have today... (cowers) WTF, don't shoot me lady, I just work here.

Nate: Oh, don't worry- she rarely shoots anything. She just likes to pull them out & look impressive. I don't even thing they're loaded.

Anita: ....

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<<it makes me imagine an HGTV show set in the Anitaverse>> Imagine if someone decided to do a Trading Spaces sort of show.... ----------------- Host: And now we're here to see what the results are of the swap between Ronnie & Anita! Anita: Here you can see what I've done with Ronnie's living room. (Gestures to an interior that's mostly covered with black & penguins.) I switched out the ugh... pastel sofa for a nice leather couch. I've even waterproofed it so it's easier to clean. Ronnie: (Ronnie looks vaguely nauseous) Please tell me that you're talking about cleaning food & wine off the sofa. Anita: (blithely ignoring Ronnie) Well... Nate & I had to "feed the beast", but we cleaned it off! That waterproofing really works! Ronnie: You've got to be freaking kidding me. (looks at host) Host: (in chipper tone of voice) No, she's telling the truth. We've got video! (gets a glare from Anita & an interested look from Nate) But uh... it got destroyed. (hushed voice) Note to self: leak the videos through demonoid. (Group goes over to Anita's place) Host: So Ronnie, tell me what you did for Anita! Ronnie: Knowing Anita's current hobbies, I took extra special steps to make her living room fit her current lifestyle. (gestures to the sofa) See this sofa? Anita: It's not water proof... Ronnie: It turns into a bed! Host: How very in- (gets cut off by Ronnie) Ronnie: See this armchair? It also turns into a bed! (Anita starts scowling even more than usual) The real trouble came from the more customized items. Check out the media center- top of the line electronics, game systems, & a bluray player. (Nate brightens) But push this button here... (Ronnie pushes a button on the wall as motors start whirring) Ronnie: It turns into a *vibrating* bed! You should see what I did with the counters... Host: Let's stop you right here. Does *everything* you changed here turn into a bed? (Ronnie nods.) Exactly how many beds did you manage to fit in here? Ronnie: About eight. Anita's a busy girl, don't you know. Anita: Are you calling me a skank? Ronnie: Hey, when your partners get up into the triple digits on a single *day* I think that it starts becoming a little excessive. (Anita starts drawing out one of her pistols as the host starts hurriedly going through the closing spiel) Host: And that's all the time we have today... (cowers) WTF, don't shoot me lady, I just work here. Nate: Oh, don't worry- she rarely shoots anything. She just likes to pull them out & look impressive. I don't even thing they're loaded. Anita: ....

   

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